Acknowledgement Versus Invalidation, 4

One is tempted to say that the effects on us of acknowledgement and invalidation prove we are made to live together: acknowledgement is someone telling us, “to me, you are”, and, like a sprout in the light, we grow; invalidation is someone telling us, “to me, you are not”, and, like a sprout in the dark, we wither away. Looks like “you” must be important to “me”, then.

Invalidation is a fundamental human mistake, but while people indulge in it because they basically don’t know what they are doing, the suppressive knows it perfectly well and uses it intentionally and deliberately. People invalidates out of poor ethics, poor humanity, poor understanding; the suppressive invalidates for just one exact purpose: to suppress. And finally for a suppressive invalidating is more often the norm, rather than the exception, it is more likely the unnoticed ordinary routine than the conspicuous episodic impetus; it is more effectively carried out by daily erosion than by isolated explosions, as one eventually breaks down more thoroughly if one does it without realising why, without any apparent single reason in sight, and without even realising it. That's the trick.